I'm a little disheartened over the round-the-clock coverage of Anna-Nicole Smith's death. Most people approach the whole thing with amusement, because she was a bit of a pathetic, awful figure. But shit...I just came out of the lunch room at work, where people were glued to the E channel, which was running a hastily patched together slide show of ANS's life.
ANS. Sounds like Anus. I'm gonna call her the anus.
So let me just say: I don't care that the anus is dead. I feel ridiculous having to even say that I don't care. How could anyone possibly care? She was famous for being a talentless nothing. Scratch that. She was vaguely, kinda famous for being a talentless nothing. A dumb-as-dirt white trash augmented former playmate who fucked for money. Big deal.
Ahem.
MHDSRIP.
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Idea for joke
"I'm addicted to wikipedia. In fact, I have a wikipedic knowledge of ancient history. For instance, I know that the Assyrians conquered Jerusalem in 722ADpeanus mother I hate fuckin' nhtml>>~~inforef redbold<"peanus"> close tag."
Come again?
The elevators here have little TV screens that display news bytes. I saw one report on it that said "30 muslims were electrocuted in Pakistan due to a faulty...something or other". Whatever the faulty thing was, it wasn't specific to Islam (faulty electric Koran? Did one of those "call to prayer" PA systems explode?). So why mention they were Muslims? Are we keeping a tally now? 30 more muslims dead, only 1 billion to go?
I had salad for lunch.
I had salad for lunch.
Sigh, etc
I'm not exactly homeless. I'm still sleeping at my place in Parkville, despite being in close proximity to Punchy McTwat, who hasn't shown his face around. I can't sleep at Mom's or Jamie's, because they have cats, and I'm a more fragile bitch than I previously thought.
So almost all of my stuff is at my parent's, with some other ephemera at Jamie's. At my home remains the computer, some clothes and the big furniture. Every time I go over to their side of town, i load the car with as much kit as I can, then store it there until such time as I have a more permanent address. It's not the worst situation one can be in, but y'know...
So let's see. Last time we were about half way through learning about the Punic Wars. when we left, a regional Sicilian battle had engaged Rome and Carthage, the Mediterranean superpowers, and now it was just down to these two. Rome had some early success by avoiding a naval war and using their superior army to control Sicily. They went too far when they attacked Carthaginian lands in North Africa, and the Carthaginians rallied to crush them, and then took the major Sicilian port of Agrigentum from Rome. They burnt it to the ground.
So things went back and forth for a long time. Carthage won an advantage when taken to sea, Rome when the battle went to land. eventually, Hamilcar Barca, the Carthaginian general, sued for peace after the Romans won a decisive naval victory at the Battle of the Aegates Islands in 241. The Carthaginians quit Sicily.
What was learned from this battle was the ineffectiveness of publicly funded fleets. Both navies were unable to maintain seaward blockades of major port cities- supply lines just went around them and travelled overland. It also taught the Romans the importance of constructing fleets, a lesson which sucked for everyone else.
An important innovation that the Romans developed was the corvus, which is a simple ship to ship bridge that would allow legionnaires to board enemy ships. Up until then, they were just ramming each other out there.
In the end, what decided the battle wasn't really technology. It was Rome's aggressiveness juxtaposed against Carthage's relative pacivity. After the war, Hanno the Great, a land owning aristocrat, gained power and demobilized the navy. They believed, naively perhaps, that having sued for peace, they could resume rebuilding their commercial influence. Roman aristocrats, on the other hand, privately invested in the war effort. The Romans were never as opposed to tyrants and armies as their Greek and Levantine counterparts turned out to be. This was an early victory for a fascist state over one that favoured free markets. Not that that's a bad thing- a fascist state isn't inherantly evil, nor is a free market state inherantly good. That may have been the case in the 20th century, when fascism got tied up with misguided notions of ethnic identity, but even in Republican times, Rome never bothered much with ideas of racial superiority.
In my opinion, fascism and free markets are neutral ideas, both of which don't work particularly well. Fascism tends to spiral into overt militarism (this was true in Rome as it was in 20th century Germany) and a fearful populace. Free markets usually open huge gaps between the rich and poor, and set the ground for revolution. Eh. Back to tribalism.
Anywho. In the aftermath, Rome induced terms that would have made the treaty of Versailles look mild. Carthage had almost no public funds. Hanno the Great-ish tried to withhold wages from the army, leading to the Mercenary War. The Punic government fought off the mercenaries, but in the course of things, lost control of Corsica and Sardinia to Rome.
A second Punic War followed the mercenary war, which I'll get in to some other time.
So almost all of my stuff is at my parent's, with some other ephemera at Jamie's. At my home remains the computer, some clothes and the big furniture. Every time I go over to their side of town, i load the car with as much kit as I can, then store it there until such time as I have a more permanent address. It's not the worst situation one can be in, but y'know...
So let's see. Last time we were about half way through learning about the Punic Wars. when we left, a regional Sicilian battle had engaged Rome and Carthage, the Mediterranean superpowers, and now it was just down to these two. Rome had some early success by avoiding a naval war and using their superior army to control Sicily. They went too far when they attacked Carthaginian lands in North Africa, and the Carthaginians rallied to crush them, and then took the major Sicilian port of Agrigentum from Rome. They burnt it to the ground.
So things went back and forth for a long time. Carthage won an advantage when taken to sea, Rome when the battle went to land. eventually, Hamilcar Barca, the Carthaginian general, sued for peace after the Romans won a decisive naval victory at the Battle of the Aegates Islands in 241. The Carthaginians quit Sicily.
What was learned from this battle was the ineffectiveness of publicly funded fleets. Both navies were unable to maintain seaward blockades of major port cities- supply lines just went around them and travelled overland. It also taught the Romans the importance of constructing fleets, a lesson which sucked for everyone else.
An important innovation that the Romans developed was the corvus, which is a simple ship to ship bridge that would allow legionnaires to board enemy ships. Up until then, they were just ramming each other out there.
In the end, what decided the battle wasn't really technology. It was Rome's aggressiveness juxtaposed against Carthage's relative pacivity. After the war, Hanno the Great, a land owning aristocrat, gained power and demobilized the navy. They believed, naively perhaps, that having sued for peace, they could resume rebuilding their commercial influence. Roman aristocrats, on the other hand, privately invested in the war effort. The Romans were never as opposed to tyrants and armies as their Greek and Levantine counterparts turned out to be. This was an early victory for a fascist state over one that favoured free markets. Not that that's a bad thing- a fascist state isn't inherantly evil, nor is a free market state inherantly good. That may have been the case in the 20th century, when fascism got tied up with misguided notions of ethnic identity, but even in Republican times, Rome never bothered much with ideas of racial superiority.
In my opinion, fascism and free markets are neutral ideas, both of which don't work particularly well. Fascism tends to spiral into overt militarism (this was true in Rome as it was in 20th century Germany) and a fearful populace. Free markets usually open huge gaps between the rich and poor, and set the ground for revolution. Eh. Back to tribalism.
Anywho. In the aftermath, Rome induced terms that would have made the treaty of Versailles look mild. Carthage had almost no public funds. Hanno the Great-ish tried to withhold wages from the army, leading to the Mercenary War. The Punic government fought off the mercenaries, but in the course of things, lost control of Corsica and Sardinia to Rome.
A second Punic War followed the mercenary war, which I'll get in to some other time.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
a brief respite from the crap in my life
Ok, so I thought I'd take a break from all my recent troubles (which I've been badly blogging about- I really need to start proof-reading). I went over to Ben and Nadia's last night, and between cooing over the baby and drinking coffee, I spent a good few hours catching up. Before long, Ben and I got into a long drawn out discussion about ancient history and civilization. I use the word "discussion" loosely, because I talked way too much. Ben is an excellent listener. and all too accomadating of my compulsion to fill the room with hot air. But I enjoyed it, if only because the Bennadia is the single loveliest entity i know of, and now they're parents.
Talking about history got me invigorated, because it's my big passion. So I decided to fill today with learning about the Punic Wars between Rome and Carthage. I'm reading through some reference material on the web, and I'm gonna use this post today to summarise it in my own words. Okay?
Right so in 264 BC Rome was a republic. It was a growing power, and had mostly secured the Italian penninsula. Their enemies were the Latin League, the Samnites and Pyrrhus of Epirus.
In North Africa, Carthage was the great commercial and naval power. They weren't really much of a military force. They were involved in trade, and they were on decent terms with Rome. The feeling might have been "They do their thing, we do ours, no overlap, let's do business".
So there were no real points of disagreement between the two powers. But 24 years prior, a group of mercenaries called the Mamertines started making trouble in Sicily, which lies halfway between Italy and North Africa.
The Mamertines were Italians, and were no more brutal than other mercenary tribes, which is to say they were pretty brutal. They had been hired by Syracuse a while back to attack Carthage in a low-grade dispute, but turned on the Syracusans (who were pretty nutso themselves). The Syracusans, under Hiero II, ravaged the Mamertines, who turned back to Carthage for help. i guess the Carthaginians weren't keen to help the group that had just attacked them, but they were less keen to see Syracuse advance into areas they controlled. So the Mamertines were assisted by Carthage, who pushed Hiero II back.
All good, right? So far, nothing unusual. But then Hiero II made another push in 264. The Mamertines weren't too impressed with the Carthaginians, and decided to petition rome for assistance this time. Who knows why? well, the Romans were getting pretty rich, and maybe the Mamertines wanted to ingratiate themselves to a potential future employer.
The Roman Republic was not fond of mercenary kingdoms. They had spent most of the last few decades repelling such threats. But they also didn't want to see Carthage expanding it's influence in Sicily, which was a potential problem. Most likely Rome entered in with the Mamertines reluctantly, as a show of strength against the Carthaginians. They didn't necessarily like the Mamertines, or hate Carthage, they just needed to flex some nuts.
This was a miscalculation. Carthage, by now sick of dealing with problems in Sicily, engaged in a naval battle, allied with Heiro II. The romans landed unperturbed however, and started land operations. They marched over Sicilian ciities, and eventually took Syracuse. So now it was everyone versus the Carthaginians, who couldn't back out now, because they had to show they couldn't be dominated by Rome.
The Carthaginians jumped into the land war, and started to win some territory. The land war came face to face at Thermae. The Carthaginians, under Hamilcar, beat back the Romans. So began the war in earnest, which was now a Roman-Carthaginian battle, when it had started as a battle between local Sicilian powers.
Back and forth it went, with Hamilcar taking his momentum North, and Rome counterattacking. Meanwhile, from Rome, forces were sent to North Africa to cut off suplly lines to the Carthaginian army in Sicily. On top of that, rome captured the Sicilian port of Agrigentum.
Marcus Attilius Regulus ravaged the Carthaginian countryside, and imposed heavy terms for peace. Negotiations failed, and the Carthaginian government brought in a Spartan mercenary named Xanthippus to reorganize the army.
Xanthippus ordered a naval attack to re-establish dominance at sea, which cut off support to Regulus' army in Carthage. They were routed, and the few survicors were killed by a storm at sea. As an added bonus, the navy took control of Agrigentum, but didn't have the manpower to hold it. They burnt it down.
Further efforts were made by the Romans to capture Carthaginian cities in Sicily, and to further attack in North Africa. These efforts failed.
Talking about history got me invigorated, because it's my big passion. So I decided to fill today with learning about the Punic Wars between Rome and Carthage. I'm reading through some reference material on the web, and I'm gonna use this post today to summarise it in my own words. Okay?
Right so in 264 BC Rome was a republic. It was a growing power, and had mostly secured the Italian penninsula. Their enemies were the Latin League, the Samnites and Pyrrhus of Epirus.
In North Africa, Carthage was the great commercial and naval power. They weren't really much of a military force. They were involved in trade, and they were on decent terms with Rome. The feeling might have been "They do their thing, we do ours, no overlap, let's do business".
So there were no real points of disagreement between the two powers. But 24 years prior, a group of mercenaries called the Mamertines started making trouble in Sicily, which lies halfway between Italy and North Africa.
The Mamertines were Italians, and were no more brutal than other mercenary tribes, which is to say they were pretty brutal. They had been hired by Syracuse a while back to attack Carthage in a low-grade dispute, but turned on the Syracusans (who were pretty nutso themselves). The Syracusans, under Hiero II, ravaged the Mamertines, who turned back to Carthage for help. i guess the Carthaginians weren't keen to help the group that had just attacked them, but they were less keen to see Syracuse advance into areas they controlled. So the Mamertines were assisted by Carthage, who pushed Hiero II back.
All good, right? So far, nothing unusual. But then Hiero II made another push in 264. The Mamertines weren't too impressed with the Carthaginians, and decided to petition rome for assistance this time. Who knows why? well, the Romans were getting pretty rich, and maybe the Mamertines wanted to ingratiate themselves to a potential future employer.
The Roman Republic was not fond of mercenary kingdoms. They had spent most of the last few decades repelling such threats. But they also didn't want to see Carthage expanding it's influence in Sicily, which was a potential problem. Most likely Rome entered in with the Mamertines reluctantly, as a show of strength against the Carthaginians. They didn't necessarily like the Mamertines, or hate Carthage, they just needed to flex some nuts.
This was a miscalculation. Carthage, by now sick of dealing with problems in Sicily, engaged in a naval battle, allied with Heiro II. The romans landed unperturbed however, and started land operations. They marched over Sicilian ciities, and eventually took Syracuse. So now it was everyone versus the Carthaginians, who couldn't back out now, because they had to show they couldn't be dominated by Rome.
The Carthaginians jumped into the land war, and started to win some territory. The land war came face to face at Thermae. The Carthaginians, under Hamilcar, beat back the Romans. So began the war in earnest, which was now a Roman-Carthaginian battle, when it had started as a battle between local Sicilian powers.
Back and forth it went, with Hamilcar taking his momentum North, and Rome counterattacking. Meanwhile, from Rome, forces were sent to North Africa to cut off suplly lines to the Carthaginian army in Sicily. On top of that, rome captured the Sicilian port of Agrigentum.
Marcus Attilius Regulus ravaged the Carthaginian countryside, and imposed heavy terms for peace. Negotiations failed, and the Carthaginian government brought in a Spartan mercenary named Xanthippus to reorganize the army.
Xanthippus ordered a naval attack to re-establish dominance at sea, which cut off support to Regulus' army in Carthage. They were routed, and the few survicors were killed by a storm at sea. As an added bonus, the navy took control of Agrigentum, but didn't have the manpower to hold it. They burnt it down.
Further efforts were made by the Romans to capture Carthaginian cities in Sicily, and to further attack in North Africa. These efforts failed.
Part 2
So I've broken my lease, and most of my valuables are in stow at my parents place...unfortunately, I cannot live with my folks, because there's a cat and cigarette smoke in the house, and after a few hours I can't breathe at all.
So I went to stay with my sister and her fiancee (Jamie and Ilan, who are already in my hall of fame). They've been occupying a very large house with lots of room for a while, and welcomed me warmingly. Unfortunately, they also have a cat. I figured that it wouldn't be so bad, because the house is big and they don't smoke in there. No such luck.
Around 12:30 last night, I was left unable to breathe. I had hit the puffer about 5 times, and it was having no effect. I got dressed, and headed back to Parkville.
So I got in. Everything was cleaned up, as my neighbour had promised. I still locked every door and left a baseball bat within easy access to my bed.
So right now, I'm a little bit fuxored. I have to find a place as soon as possible, and at least move my bed in. Then, over the next 27 days, I have to start moving stuff from 3 locations- Parkville, my sisters, and my parents.
I don't know why, but this is not getting me down. It's kinda exciting. It's remarkable how resourceful and focused one becomes when thrown into a quick crisis. I'm not that focused usually, so it's a pleasant change.
All the same, it kinda sucks.
So I went to stay with my sister and her fiancee (Jamie and Ilan, who are already in my hall of fame). They've been occupying a very large house with lots of room for a while, and welcomed me warmingly. Unfortunately, they also have a cat. I figured that it wouldn't be so bad, because the house is big and they don't smoke in there. No such luck.
Around 12:30 last night, I was left unable to breathe. I had hit the puffer about 5 times, and it was having no effect. I got dressed, and headed back to Parkville.
So I got in. Everything was cleaned up, as my neighbour had promised. I still locked every door and left a baseball bat within easy access to my bed.
So right now, I'm a little bit fuxored. I have to find a place as soon as possible, and at least move my bed in. Then, over the next 27 days, I have to start moving stuff from 3 locations- Parkville, my sisters, and my parents.
I don't know why, but this is not getting me down. It's kinda exciting. It's remarkable how resourceful and focused one becomes when thrown into a quick crisis. I'm not that focused usually, so it's a pleasant change.
All the same, it kinda sucks.
Fisticuffs!
SO...My life got complicated last night. I came home to find a huge mess outside my house. for the last couple of weeks, my neighbour (a rough sort who i don't get along with) has taken it upon himself to erect a massive structure outside my house, to build on his. I was angry at first, but he has a tricky habit of never answering his door, or mail, or threats from the landlord, etc. So I ignored it, even though it's ugly, creates a fire hazard, and gives anyone easy access to my windows.
Anyway...I came home last night, and it was a disaster area. rubbish and debris and plaster all over the place, even blocking the entrance to my front door. So I marched up the scaffolding, and knocked on his door. i told him this thing was illegal, causing me difficulty, and that he should take it down.
As it turns out, this was an unwise move. My neighbour is a bit of a drunk, a builder, and has a criminal record. He came down, started yelling at me, and then kicked me in the hip a couple of times. I wasn't too hurt- i was more shocked. I told him to cool his jets, and we would talk it over. He punched me 3 times in the face. Again, I was more shocked. I stood there, as he cracked me across the jaw, and my first thought was "WOW! I can really take a punch!" My second thought was "Calm the situation down. There's no-one else around, there are sharp things lying around, if you retaliate in kind, this could escalate into something gruesome". So I cooled him down, told him to relax, and we'll talk. He did. He started apologizing profusely, telling me how he had been attacked by some mates of the landlord, etc. Meanwhile, I found myself talking calmly, ameliating the situation. By the end, he had apologized, promised me he'd have it all cleaned up by today, and said he'd drop off a bottle of wine to say sorry.
Okay, so now I'm walking around my apartment, feeling my face swell, wondering what to do. Not feeling safe, because he may be paranoid, might figure I'll get him in trouble, and do something. i live in an isolated spot, and there's no-one around but me and him.
\n \nI go to the Police. Not much they can do. No witnesses, and apart from a few scratches (from his wedding ring hitting me) and a fat lip, not much evidence. Pressing charges would get nowehere, and drag us both into court. \n\n \nI go to the hospital. I'm fine. Some swelling in the jaw and a bruised hip, but fine. \n \nI grab some mates (Jake, Dave and my brother, who are all now in my hall of fame), and we pack my valuables into cars and drop them at my parents place. All my furniture is still there, and I'm not keen on going back without some backup. He's unstable, and I'm not keen on taking a risk over something like a miserable apartment. I have friends and family, I don't need further drama. \n\n \nSO I'M HOMELESS! Well, not really. But i am a bit thrown by all of this. I've had people telling me I should have fought back. I figure the best case scenario is that I knock him out. Ok, then he wakes up, gets some mates, and does who knows what to my place (and me). Worst case scenario, he puts something through my eye. I can't say either appeals to me. I like to think I handled it well. \n\n \nOpnions? Thoughts? Comments?\n \n \n\n",0]
);
//-->
I go to the Police. Not much they can do. No witnesses, and apart from a few scratches (from his wedding ring hitting me) and a fat lip, not much evidence. Pressing charges would get nowehere, and drag us both into court.
I go to the hospital. I'm fine. Some swelling in the jaw and a bruised hip, but fine.
I grab some mates (Jake, Dave and my brother, who are all now in my hall of fame), and we pack my valuables into cars and drop them at my parents place. All my furniture is still there, and I'm not keen on going back without some backup. He's unstable, and I'm not keen on taking a risk over something like a miserable apartment. I have friends and family, I don't need further drama.
SO I'M HOMELESS! Well, not really. But i am a bit thrown by all of this. I've had people telling me I should have fought back. I figure the best case scenario is that I knock him out. Ok, then he wakes up, gets some mates, and does who knows what to my place (and me). Worst case scenario, he puts something through my eye. I can't say either appeals to me. I like to think I handled it well.
Anyway...I came home last night, and it was a disaster area. rubbish and debris and plaster all over the place, even blocking the entrance to my front door. So I marched up the scaffolding, and knocked on his door. i told him this thing was illegal, causing me difficulty, and that he should take it down.
As it turns out, this was an unwise move. My neighbour is a bit of a drunk, a builder, and has a criminal record. He came down, started yelling at me, and then kicked me in the hip a couple of times. I wasn't too hurt- i was more shocked. I told him to cool his jets, and we would talk it over. He punched me 3 times in the face. Again, I was more shocked. I stood there, as he cracked me across the jaw, and my first thought was "WOW! I can really take a punch!" My second thought was "Calm the situation down. There's no-one else around, there are sharp things lying around, if you retaliate in kind, this could escalate into something gruesome". So I cooled him down, told him to relax, and we'll talk. He did. He started apologizing profusely, telling me how he had been attacked by some mates of the landlord, etc. Meanwhile, I found myself talking calmly, ameliating the situation. By the end, he had apologized, promised me he'd have it all cleaned up by today, and said he'd drop off a bottle of wine to say sorry.
Okay, so now I'm walking around my apartment, feeling my face swell, wondering what to do. Not feeling safe, because he may be paranoid, might figure I'll get him in trouble, and do something. i live in an isolated spot, and there's no-one around but me and him.
\n \nI go to the Police. Not much they can do. No witnesses, and apart from a few scratches (from his wedding ring hitting me) and a fat lip, not much evidence. Pressing charges would get nowehere, and drag us both into court. \n\n \nI go to the hospital. I'm fine. Some swelling in the jaw and a bruised hip, but fine. \n \nI grab some mates (Jake, Dave and my brother, who are all now in my hall of fame), and we pack my valuables into cars and drop them at my parents place. All my furniture is still there, and I'm not keen on going back without some backup. He's unstable, and I'm not keen on taking a risk over something like a miserable apartment. I have friends and family, I don't need further drama. \n\n \nSO I'M HOMELESS! Well, not really. But i am a bit thrown by all of this. I've had people telling me I should have fought back. I figure the best case scenario is that I knock him out. Ok, then he wakes up, gets some mates, and does who knows what to my place (and me). Worst case scenario, he puts something through my eye. I can't say either appeals to me. I like to think I handled it well. \n\n \nOpnions? Thoughts? Comments?\n \n \n\n",0]
);
//-->
I go to the Police. Not much they can do. No witnesses, and apart from a few scratches (from his wedding ring hitting me) and a fat lip, not much evidence. Pressing charges would get nowehere, and drag us both into court.
I go to the hospital. I'm fine. Some swelling in the jaw and a bruised hip, but fine.
I grab some mates (Jake, Dave and my brother, who are all now in my hall of fame), and we pack my valuables into cars and drop them at my parents place. All my furniture is still there, and I'm not keen on going back without some backup. He's unstable, and I'm not keen on taking a risk over something like a miserable apartment. I have friends and family, I don't need further drama.
SO I'M HOMELESS! Well, not really. But i am a bit thrown by all of this. I've had people telling me I should have fought back. I figure the best case scenario is that I knock him out. Ok, then he wakes up, gets some mates, and does who knows what to my place (and me). Worst case scenario, he puts something through my eye. I can't say either appeals to me. I like to think I handled it well.
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